As a continuation of my little research project into happiness and fulfillment, here are the things I’ve identified that need improvement:
Things I’d like to improve:
- Relationships (love/family/friends)
- Energy level
- Finances
- Personal Satisfaction
The game plan: How do I plan to make these things better? I’m glad you asked.
Relationships
- Communication: I won’t wait for or depend on others to initiate interaction.
- Remember birthdays: I am really terrible about this, and I feel really bad about it. At the beginning of each month I am going to buy.make cards for everyone close to me with a birthday that month and send them out immediately. Goodbye procrastination!
- Call, skype, write or email more often.
- Be honest: if there are people in my life that just drag me down or do not contribute something positive to my life, I will not continue to waste my energy on them.
- Forgiveness: If someone has done something that hurt me, real or perceived, I will let it go. It isn’t healthy or productive to hold onto grudges.
- Connect: I want to find my long lost sister that I’ve never met. I want to rebuild my relationship with my little brother and sister and strengthen my ties to my big brother and sister. We are such a complicated family, with many obstacles, but with all the things I’ve listed above, I’m optimistic that it can be done.
Communication specific to my love relationship:
- I will give him a break. He’s trying really hard.
- I won’t say “I’m fine” if I’m in fact not. If I don’t want to talk about it, that’s what I’ll say.
- I will let go of the past. It’s over. I need to either get over it and move on, or not get over it and end the relationship…if it’s that serious.
Energy level
- Improve sleep: Because of my health, there are some things that affect my sleep that are beyond my control. Here are some of the things I can control:
- Embrace the darkness: It’s amazing how just a small bit of light can disturb sleep. I’m putting up black out curtains and getting rid of any glowing lights from chargers and other gadgets.
- Be active during the day: Duh.
- Eat dinner at a reasonable time: 9 o’clock does not fit this criteria. Let’s shoot for 7-7:30 ish.
- Read more, TV less. This isn’t really that big of an issue because we traded cable TV for a gym membership, but we can still do a little better. TV is not conducive to sleep, as a matter of fact, it’s usually to blame for nights I stay up late. (Like Monday night football that starts at 9:15. LOL)
- Journal/Blog/Sketch: I need to get all of those thoughts and great ideas out of my head so my mind can rest.
- Meditation: I’m a skeptic when it comes to “new age” type ideas. However, I gave this an honest shot for a while and was amazed at how well it worked to quiet my mind and relieve stress and anxiety. If for no other reason, I’m doing it to shut my brain up. I’ve got thoughts a mile a minute and they never stop, not even when I’m not paying attention to what I’m thinking about. I am shooting for 30 minutes a day, at minimum Monday through Friday.
- Exercise: This is probably key to fixing many of my personal issues, so don’t be surprised to see this one a few times.
- Eat better: Obviously.
- Limit eating out. I will be cutting out places like Mc Donalds completely. It makes me sick to my stomach anyway.
- Cook dinner at home, from scratch as much as possible.
- Bring lunch to work whenever possible.
- Make/eat more vegetables.
- Make more fruit smoothies.
- Clear out the clutter: Unworn clothing, unused miscellany and trinkets…I’ll be getting rid of them or finding a way to properly store it so it’s not lingering all over the house.
- Be honest: Am I really going to use this?
- Sentimental items are okay to keep as long as it’s properly displayed or stored.
- Finish projects: All those nagging loose ends hanging around drain my energy and actually keeps me from getting to work on them. It’s a vicious cycle. I plan on keeping a list of current and future projects to be able to visualize what I have on my plate, so to speak.
Finances: Money, or more specifically lack of, is a monumental source of stress and general unhappiness. The issue isn’t strictly a matter of not making enough money to make ends meet, it’s a combination of that and not spending as wisely as we should. Getting a grip on income and expenditures would relieve a lot of this stress.
- Make a budget: List all expenditures and income.
- Take cash out at the bank for all small expenditures like gas, etc.
- Set up bills to be paid through the bank’s bill pay to ensure they’re paid on time.
- Stick to the budget: Use only the cash allowed for any miscellaneous spending.
Personal Satisfaction: There are a lot of things that I can do or change to increase my self-esteem or make me feel better about who I am or how I’m living my life. I’ve made a good start, making forward progress with this over the last couple years. However, I’m a long way off from where I’d like to be. Some of these items overlap or repeat, but that’s because they’re important.
- Figure out what my business is, and start it. Whether it’s on Etsy or even working with someone that sells on consignment, this needs to happen. I need to define what my business will encompass, build a plan, buy supplies, start production and get my stuff out in the world. Oh, and I need business cards because everyone knows you’re not legit business person without a business card.
- Get right with my spiritual life. I’m Catholic and always have been. I’ve fallen off the wagon like most people do from time to time, not because I don’t believe anymore, but I lose sight of my priorities. Sitting in mass, my heart feels full and find myself at times stifling back tears of joy. I can’t help feeling that this is where I’m meant to be. I would like to start a family in the fairly near future, and I want my children to grow up with faith and the knowledge of God’s love and how we are not just arbitrary beings with no purpose. I want to pass along the faith that my mother passed on to me, because it is a beautiful thing. I’ve begun confirmation classes to kick off my journey to re-acquaintance with the Good Lord.
- Finish projects: A repeater. All those quasi-finished project lying around make it hard to view myself as a success. Small victories will help with this for sure.
- Get back to school ASAP. Seriously. Even if it’s just a random class here or there.
- Get into shape! I need exercise like a pizza needs cheese. My clothes don’t fit as well as they should and I just get depressed when I look in the mirror. I’m not too far off, but enough that I’ve disappointed myself.
- Finish organizing my music on iTunes. Sounds stupid I know, but I’m so OCD that having duplicate songs and mislabeled music is really irritating.