Issue No. 3

So in last week’s Wreck, I promised bacon, so bacon you shall have. It has come to my attention (mostly because up until about a month ago, I was one of these people) that there are FAR too many people that cook their bacon in a pan on the stove.

Well boys and girls, today is the day we wreck that bacon-cooking rut of yours. Sure, your mom probably taught you how to cook bacon, and I’m sure she is a very lovely and sweet well-meaning woman with a sparkling personality such as mine. But I have a dream. I have a dreeeeeeam that one day, our sisters and brothers will no longer sully their pans and their stoves with all that bacon grease and slave over the sink scrubbing their bacon-cooking pans… I’m going to show you the light. Today, you will cook those strips of greasy deliciousness in the oven. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. (pssst…you can tell your mom you made it on the stove if it makes you feel better…but if you’re not a liar liar pants on fire, maybe you can show her this nifty little gem of bacon-cooking innovation)

Here’s what you need for this week’s lesson:

1. Bacon (if I had to tell you this one, them maybe you should stop reading here) 


2. Rimmed baking sheets. I say plural, because for one, the baking sheets I own are kind of like my apartment (small), and two, I know my bacon is sliced fairly thin so there’s far too many slices to fit on a single pan. If you have one of those hoity-toity baking pans that is big enough to fit all of them, then one is all you need. Be sure it’s rimmed and not just a flat cookie sheet…unless you enjoy grease fires or looking for a way to get a firefighter in your house. :::wink wink:::


3. Aluminum foil. This is for covering your baking pans and saving your delicate hands from dish soap.


4. Oven. (duh.)


Now that you have your supplies rounded up, here’s how you do it:

1. Do NOT pre-heat your oven. Don’t ask me why, just follow the directions.

2. Cover your pan(s) with aluminum foil. This is not completely necessary, but if you’re anything like me, you loathe washing dishes. This makes clean up a cinch.

Now, if you have one of those nice pans that is big enough to fit all the bacon, you probably won’t have a single sheet of foil to effectively cover the pan. Do not despair. Itssunnyinmysoul has a genius solution for you. I only just now thought of this, so I don’t have a photo to illustrate, unfortunately. Cut two pieces of foil, about 2 inches longer than your pans. Stack the two sheets on top of each other and fold over one of the long edges (fold both pieces together.) Do this a couple more times to ensure there isn’t grease leakage. Now you have a giant sheet of foil to protect your huge pan from having to be washed. You’re welcome.


3. Arrange your bacon slices on your covered baking sheets. Note: try not to overlap slices, as they will end up stuck together. However, if you’re trying to make a bacon flag or placemat…then overlap away!


4. Place your bacon in your COLD oven. It is cold, right? Good. NOW you can heat your oven to 400 degrees F.


5. Set a timer for 20 minutes. Now, this is how long it should take to make your bacon perfectly crispy. Unfortunately, I have an electric oven, and it literally took almost the entire 20 minutes to heat to 400 degrees. Needless to say, my Huckleberry Hound of an oven took closer to about 30 minutes to make my bacon the way I like it. I would suggest checking your bacon at about 17 minutes to survey the damage progress, just to make sure it’s not burning already. (you might have a Speedy Gonzales type oven for all I know) Proceed accordingly.


6. When the 20 minutes is up check your bacon. If you like yours a little on the crispy side, and it looks like this (below), then congratulations, your bacon is done cooking.

Now, if you lined your pans with foil, and you’re not a bacon fat collector, pull off the foil and toss in the trash. Easy peasy bacon greasy.



7. Enjoy your bacon.

Voila! You have perfectly cooked bacon, aaaaand you didn’t have to wash the greasy mess of a pan you would have had to if you had cooked it like your momma taught you. Also, no grease spatters all over your stove. Win.

I hope you all enjoyed this week’s Wreck. I haven’t decided what next week’s will hold, so please feel free to leave suggestions in your comments 🙂




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