WRECK IT WEDNESDAY!!! (Issue No. 8)

Welcome, welcome, welcome! Here we are again, my friends, another Wreck it Wednesday. I figure the little traditions that I began not so long ago here on this blog need to be resuscitated. So here I am, attempting to breathe new life into Wednesdays.

In case you lovely people need a refresher on what a Wreck is. A Wreck is when we chat about ways to turn your life upside down. Shake up all those ideas you have about how you’re supposed to live, how you’re supposed to look at the world. Society seems to have rules for everything. But there’s not one person on this planet that should tell you how to live your life. You do not have any obligation to live up to anyone’s expectations or ideals.

Sure, it’d be nice to stroll into Lowes or Home Depot and pick up all the things your heart desires to make your home into that image of perfection from all those magazines and websites you’ve been pouring over. But who has the money these days? An even better question is this: Why in the hell would you want to make your space into an image out of someone else’s imagination?

My best friend wanted a fire pit to add to her new backyard addition. Incidentally, she also wanted the brick planter dismantled. So here’s what I did…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some used/recycled bricks, cheap wood, a few cinder blocks, some spray paint and a little acrylic craft paint…and there you go. A fully functional and entirely customized fire pit, complete with benches. It absolutely doesn’t line up with all those beautiful images I always see on Pinterest and on the magazine racks. Nevertheless, it’s perfect. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Besides, those words painted on the benches pretty much describe the whole reason the fire pit was wanted anyway. To inspire relationships, life, love, faith, happiness and laughter.

That’s what it’s all about, kids. Hope you enjoyed today’s Wreck.

MAKIN’ IT MONDAYS (Issue 3)

Call me a Pinterest addict, that’s fine. It’s true I’m sure. But I’d like to think that I’m more than just a gawker. I don’t see myself as someone who sees a bunch of really cool ideas and doesn’t do anything with them. I also would like to think that I don’t just snake other people’s ideas to take credit for it. No. My creations become a sort of amalgamation of many sources of inspiration: Pinterest, my environment, needs, wants, materials on hand, etc.

Having said that, a lot of the things I make are simply born out of wanting or needing something, but not having the money it would cost to buy it myself. I find myself out at stores sometimes, looking at cool furniture or decor…whatever, and I think to myself, “Why would I pay (insert stupid amount of money here) when this is totally something I can make?” I don’t know if this makes me weird or what, but it’s the way I think. Sue me.

Regardless this Makin’ it Monday is indeed one of those projects born out of not being  willing to pay a bunch of money for something that I could build myself. And besides, this was something my best friend had been wanting for a long time…so we made like a pair of Nikes and just did it.

Here are the supplies, minus the paint, but you get the picture. (Hahaha, see what I did there?) The pallets were free. The sander, the paint brushes and the paint were things we already had laying around. I’m not sure if this makes us weirdo, but whatever.

P.S. I highly recommend that if you’re building something out of pallets and you’re planning on sitting on it….sand first.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to buy a bunch of crap to make you happy. Yes, we spent a little money on this project, I’m not gonna lie. But there’s really no comparison to what we could have spent. And on top of that, every time we sit on it, we always remember the very first time we tried it out: No one was really sure if our craftsmanship was good enough for grown humans to sit on it and not end up on the ground; or worse, end up bringing down the entire frame of the deck we attached it to. It was a blast, and created memories. That’s priceless in my Kelly Blue Book of Life.

There it is. A porch swing out of 2 pallets for the price of some chain, “I” hooks and screws, and a few cushions. Not a bad little Saturday project, I think.

WRECK IT WEDNESDAY!!! (Issue No. 7)

I don’t have any children. A good friend of mine got knocked up and so we began discussing options for nursery decor. The usual came up: Baby Animals, Zoo, etc… I had an idea. Why spend money decorating a room that the baby will quickly out grow? The idea we all settled on was Super Mario Bros. We all love parkin’ our rears on the big comfy couch to play for hours. Sure, I suck big time at Mario Kart, but who cares?

Anyway, being the best friend, I set out to plan the shower. Unfortunately, planning a baby shower and nursery decor with a theme like this is not easy. Things are not, how you say, ready-made and on the shelf at your local Babies-R-Us.

No anything we found was a little too geared for much older children. But that didn’t stop us. Despite the challenge of basically creating everything custom by hand, we refused to be constrained by the meager, run-of-the mill standard offered by baby stores. We hopped right out of that box for this week’s Wreck!

Now, I’m not going to go through these photos and give detailed step by step instructions. That would defeat the purpose of this Wreck.  I want you all to be inspired to not be pigeonholed into a certain way of thinking. After all, that’s why we Wreck in the first place, right? Right. If you would like any information or tips on how these things were constructed and how you might be able to go about doing something similar, I would be very happy to guide you and answer any questions. Just leave me a comment at the end of this post.

THE BABY SHOWER:

The Invitations

I’d just like to add a couple small side notes on these invitations…First, aside from everything excluding the type is hand-made. The triangular shading on those hills were done in sharpie. For 35 invites. 7 lime green sharpies later….

Finally done.

The Shower Decor, etc.

Italian Cream Soda Bar. Genius. Really, if you ever have an Italian themed party, I highly suggest it.

Arts & Crafts time. I set up a table for the guests to decorate onesies. Onesies, puffy paint and iron-ons provided.

The result: Pure Gold.

THE NURSERY DECOR:

Two things here. My mommy made the bumper. She created that wonderful brick pattern and I love her for it. The quilt is my baby. fabric, ribbon and puffy paint (for the faces on the clouds).

I’d like to direct your attention to the bricks on the wall. My pregnant friend did a really great job!

As you can see from the center  of this mobile, it used to have a jungle animal theme. My friend purchased this on Craigslist and I went to work making the characters our of felt, floss and puffy paint…converting it into a SMB masterpiece. (I later switched out the picture for a Mario one)

Everything you see on the wall was hand-made by us.

She even added her own black-out curtains to match  the walls and quilt.

So you can see, with a little creativity and a whole lot of stubbornness, you can create the nursery you’ve always dreamed of. You don’t have to settle for what the stores have all picked out for you.

I sure hope that you enjoyed the Wreck, and I hope it sparks just a little bit of imagination in your life.

I Didn’t Even Have to Use My AK. I’d Have To Say It Was A Good Day…

I’ve been blessed with many many good days since I took a hiatus from this lovely blog. I’d like to say I’m sorry for neglecting you all, but honestly, I’m not. I’ve had some seriously good times this spring and summer, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Don’t believe that kind of fun is possible? Well, here are my last 5 1/2 months in photos, you can judge for yourself…

I finally got my new tattoo done. I designed this while my dad was going through chemo. 5 1/2 hours of work, and it’s not quite finished.

Had a delicious breakfast date….with the most delicious banana french toast, EVER.

Seriously, if you’re ever in San Diego you need to have this french toast at Perry’s Cafe. Trust me.

Dinner date that ended at my absolute favorite place for dessert….Extraordinary Desserts in Little Italy  (San Diego). You have to try this place too if you’re ever in town.

Road tripped up to the Bay Area with my besties to see my little brother play LaCrosse in the Sonoma State Shootout. The Seattle Starz took the championship, and my brother even won his All Star game! He is an amazing person. I can’t say enough how proud I am of him. Can’t believe he’s only 14!

Since we were in the area…we swung by and saw the old Golden Gate for a bit.

It was pretty chilly out there by the Frisco Bay. Definitely should have brought sweatpants.

And since we were already that far north of home, we figured we’d spend a couple of days in Yosemite National Park. But not before passing by the windmill farms and taking a tour of the Jelly Belly factory.

Did you know that the blueberry Jelly Belly flavor was invented for President Ronald Reagan’s inauguration in 1981? True story.

Once we got to Yosemite, we did some hikin’ n swimmin’.  This place is seriously gorgeous. I wish this was what people thought of when they think of my beautiful state of California.

Takin’ a dip in the river was exactly what we needed after all that hiking. It was so relaxing and peaceful.

I flew out to Salt Lake City to meet up with my best friends. We really squeezed a lot of livin’ into that week and a half!

Rock climbing.

Dirtbiking.

Visited the Hogle Zoo. I’d never seen a Bald Eagle so close before, so beautiful.

Visited Cabela’s for the very first time. This place is so frickin’ cool if you love outdoorsy stuff, which I do. Guns, fishin’, campin, hikin, climbin’…it’s all here!!!

Visited Temple Square in Downtown Salt Lake. I’m not Mormon, but I think anyone can appreciate the beauty of this architecture.

We also did a little self tour of the state of Utah’s capital building.

Ta-dah!

I spent some time at the beach, skimmin’…trying to anyway.

Okay, I went to the beach a couple of times…

What can I say, I’m a California girl.

Even my pup likes the beach.

A lot.

Me and my friends spent a little time in Old Town San Diego to have the best Mexican breakfast around at Coyote Cantina (Chilaquiles with fresh handmade flour tortillas) aaaand did a little goofing around….

We are silly gooses.

I finally saw the Hoover Dam for the first time. What a sight! This new bridge they’ve built is impressive…and the heat out there was oppressive.

I moved out of my apartment….and after pitching a fit, I got my whole deposit back. Thank you.

Watched my Padres play his Astros at Petco Park.

Padres won.

I went to Big Bear and learned how to ski with my big sister and my little Chickin Nuggit. (That’s my niece’s nick name)

Took a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico with my mommy.

Couple of strawberry sodas, couple of beers…

And one of my all time favorite meals ever. Birria de Chivo. Basically a slow cooked dish made with goat. It sounds gross, and doesn’t look much more appetizing, but let me tell you, eating it makes my heart smile…especially with homemade corn tortillas and quesadillas.

Oh, and then there’s the paletas (Mexican popsicles)…those made our mouths smile too.

Speaking of hearts smiling, I got to see my other best friend tie the knot. It was a beautiful ceremony. I think this was the first time I actually cried at a wedding. I’m so happy for them both.

This is me and the newlyweds.

And me n my buddy Nick-o-Lah.

We celebrated my mommy’s birthday.

And I made some fabulous cupcakes for the occasion.

Thanks to my mommy, we got tickets to see Dwight Yoakam. We got a little crowd to do the electric slide with us when he played Faster than You. We had an amazing time!

Visited the San Diego Wild Animal Park…or I guess they’re calling it the Safari Park now. Either way, I’ve never seen such awesome views of lions, ever. We even got to see a cheetah do the 100 yard dash up close.

I finally got some really old film developed. This one was from Halloween a couple of years ago. Incidentally, I was a little concerned about developing this roll because I don’t remember a good chunk of that night…

Oh yeah…we moved to Texas.

I’ll probably write a little more about this particular event a bit later. For now, let’s just say it’s humid.

One thing I don’t have pictures of is my 10 year high school reunion. We made it back to California for that a week and a half ago, and it went much better than I was expecting. So that was good. Again, more on this later.

Last but not least….I’ve done some work for the next Makin’ It Monday. Here’s a sneak peak!!

I’ve been taking life one day at a time, trying my best to take advantage of every opportunity sent my way. I have to say, I’m fortunate for my friends, without them, most of these trips may not have been possible. I am also fortunate to have a hunger for adventure. Sure there are every day responsibilities to tend to. The bills need to be paid, the housework and laundry needs to be done, the pup must be fed, sure. But why did I spend so much time waiting around for the right time to take trips and little adventures? Why could I not see that tomorrow isn’t a better day to put a smile on my face? The answer is: I didn’t make it a priority. I wished for happiness and adventure and spontaneity, but did nothing about it…like it was just going to fall into my lap. Silly goose. If you want something, get after it! You get one life, that’s it. There’s no do-overs or rewind buttons. If you’re unhappy, then change something because you are the only thing standing between the life you live, and the life you want to live.

I didn’t write this post to brag about all the cool stuff that I got to do this past spring and summer. I’m writing this post to inspire you. There is a little bit of extraordinary in our every day lives, it’s a matter of how you look at it. I am writing this post to point out to you, my wonderful readers that a lot of living can be done without being a millionaire. Sure, it requires a bit more creativity and imagination…maybe even a bit of compromising. But it can be done. So stop sitting at home, blaming the fact that there’s too much laundry to do, or the dishes are dirty or the baby needs a bath to be able to go have a picnic or something. Just start living. It’s as simple as that.

PS If you’re the kind of person that can only be pleased with a first class flight to Paris and staying in a ritzy hotel, this post isn’t going to help you, sorry, Charlie.

Happy Birthday, W_lt_r…

You might be curious as to why I didn’t completely spell the name in the title of this post. Walter is my father. He was in the Navy for 20 years and when he’d write me a letter, he always signed it W_lt_r (Daddy). He left letters out because I wasn’t allowed to call him Walter, only Daddy. It was one of his little ways of being funny, I suppose. It always made me smile.

Today is my Daddy’s birthday. According to his initial prognosis, he should still be alive for me to make him German chocolate cupcakes.

Unfortunately, he’s not. Instead, I’m sitting in bed 1,500 miles away from home and his grave, thinking about how much I miss him. I’m thinking about how wonderful the last birthday we spent together was. I’m thinking about how badly I wish that I could have that day back.

Many days have passed since that last birthday. I’ve grown and learned a lot about life, and I’ve struggled with the sadness and depression that comes with loss and change. I’ve been striving every day to live my life in a way that would make him proud. Unfortunately, the way I celebrated his birthday last year would not have met that particular goal. I was by myself at a bar, falling to pieces. It’d been a long, long time since I had felt that alone.

I didn’t make him any cupcakes this year. I didn’t visit his grave to leave him a card and Fosters tall boy. I am home, away from home, but I don’t feel so alone. There won’t be any drinking tonight. Though there have been some tears and probably more to come, I am not falling apart today. I am grateful for that. I am thankful to have someone here who loves me, and does his best to  hold me together. Maybe it’s a gift from my Dad? A way to ease the moving on? I don’t know, but thank you either way.

Here’s to you Daddy. I hope you’re smiling down from Heaven on all the good changes I’ve made in my life. I miss you every day.

P.S. Tell Uncle Peter I say hi.

Daddy’s last birthday – 56 years old

WRECK IT WEDNESDAY!!! (Issue No. 6)

Welcome to Wreck It Wednesday! This is where I show you that breaking free of the way you used to look at things can free your spirit and open up all new possibilities. Today, we’re gonna talk letters. Not emails. Not text messages. Not skyping or leaving messages on Facebook walls. Hand-written, from the heart, letters.

No fancy paper...just a wire-bound book of notebook paper. It still makes me smile every time I read it.

Staring at a blank piece of paper may induce panic attacks in some, sure. But I know that amidst all of the junk mail and bills, we all secretly (or maybe not so secretly) adore getting real people mail. There’s nothing quite like seeing your name and address, hand-written across the front of an envelope. We inspect it and wonder what’s inside. It’s a wonderful experience. It tells us that someone cares about us and took a few minutes out of their busy day to let us know that we were on their mind.

It makes me infinitely sad to think that we don’t physically write much anymore. As a matter of fact, I know a lot of people who don’t know how to write or sign their name in cursive. The problem I see with all the technology we have going on these days, is that we’re always go go go. We need a faster, more efficient way of doing every imaginable task. The problem with all this multi-tasking, we miss a lot of details. Take writing an email for example. You have your account open, typing an email–but what’s that in the background on your desk top? Oh, your Facebook account is up, so is the website for your bank account, and who knows what else. A little bit of meaning is taken away when you don’t give tasks your full attention. Your friends and family deserve that attention, right? Well, get out that paper and your favorite writing implement so we can get started.

Remember in school, all the different ways we came up with to fold notes? ahhhh...the good ole days.

 Letters don’t need to be beautiful, well thought out prose to be  handed down through generations. They don’t need to be on nice stationary, or written in pen. They don’t even need to be letters at all. As a matter of fact, I regularly write notes here and there for various reasons, and sometimes no reason at all, other than to let someone know I’m thinking of them. I also regularly use markers, crayon and even stickers.

So now that you’re ready to begin, how do you begin? Well, how would you start a conversation with the person if you were speaking face to face? You can start your letter with: “So I was walking down the street the other day, and I saw a poster of a girl holding a puppy that reminded of you…” Heck, you don’t even have to write any words at all–draw a picture. Don’t worry so much about what you think a letter should look like. This is Wreck It Wednesday! A letter is supposed to look like whatever it ends up looking like when you’re done writing or drawing on the paper. Whoever you’re writing it for isn’t going to take a look at the letter and throw it back in your face because they find it unsatisfactory. (As a side note, if they do actually throw it back in your face, you should give serious consideration to removing that person from your list of friends.) They are going to feel happiness because you took a minute to let them know you took a little time out of your busy day for them. Stop letting the fear of not being “good enough” keep you from doing things.

These are letters that my daddy wrote me while he was on deployment. They were written in 1991, and I still have them. That's how much they mean to me.

This is my favorite letter. My daddy was a great artist, and was kinda goofy.

We put a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves.  We feel as though we have to behave a certain way or have or do certain things to be accepted, to give meaning to our lives. That’s hogwash. Be yourself and live your life mindfully without letting outside judgement hinder your happiness. That’s how you put meaning in your life. Dr. Seuss once said, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” The man may have been crazy, but his words are fact. And incidentally, it’s why I started wrecking Wednesdays. Sure, my life may be a proverbial train wreck, but it’s mine and it makes me happy. Sure, people can’t take their eyes off it, but such is the life of a wreck.

I got ShamRocked…

I had the opportunity to attend Blake Shelton’s Well Lit and Amplified tour in Las Vegas on Saint Patrick’s Day. Wowzers! The show rocked my socks off. The line up? Dia Frampton (from the show The Voice) opening for Justin Moore and Blake Shelton. Here’s how it went down…

Walked from our room at Excalibur and made a…quick stop at the craps tables when we got to Mandalay Bay…

Okay, so it wasn’t a quick stop, but we’re in Vegas, so oh well. (My little brother would argue that we couldn’t get somewhere on time if our lives depended on it, but no one asked him.) We left the tables about 10 minutes after the show started. We got to the metal detectors outside the event center only to realize that we had both brought our pocket knives. Now before you raise your eyebrow at me, let me start by saying that I carry my knife on me just about everywhere I go. Its habit, so I didn’t even realize until the metal detectors were upon us. A very nice older gentleman tried to get us past security, as we were upstanding citizens and didn’t attempt to hide our weapons…to no avail. Then he suggested that we try checking them at the bell desk. He did caution us to the fact that they may not check them for us, since they’re weapons. Soooo….I tucked them into my hoodie’s pockets and handed it to the very nice bell desk attendant. Crisis averted.

Needless to say, we were not punctual enough to catch Dia Frampton’s performance. We also missed Justin’s first song.

Color us happy to know that we had made it for all of our favorite Justin Moore songs. I call that winning. He was charismatic, funny and connected to his audience instantly. He has a modest disposition and a “kiss-my-ass-if-you-don’t-like-my-music” attitude…it really felt like we were hanging out with friends than sitting in an event center with thousands of strangers. Maybe that’s just because we have a rough-around-the-edges group of friends (let’s face it, I’m pretty rough around the edges myself) but, aside from making amazing music, we found him very likable and entertaining. Extra kudos for putting on such a great performance despite having laryngitis. What a trooper he is!

Now, Blake Shelton. Well, the man is talented. Contrary to what some people think, he is not a new comer to the world of country music; he’s well established, though he has admittedly been on a hot streak, so-to-speak. His abundance of attention is well-earned, let me tell you.

He opened with a cover of Footloose that actually didn’t make me cringe. In fact, I enjoyed it very much, especially since he followed up with three more uninterrupted songs before pausing to speak to the audience. Like Justin, he was funny and modest and expressed his gratitude for his fans. Always nice to hear you’re appreciated, especially when you’re spending money you don’t really have on concert tickets. It turns out that he and Justin make excellent touring partners, considering their shared distaste in the suits trying to censor them and attempting to push conformity on them. He has an irreverent humor and attitude that made him immediately likable. He spoke about his experience with the tv show The Voice. He shared his admiration for his peers on the show and even played (most of) a Cee-Lo Green song. It made me smile.

In the middle of his performance, he let the band take a break and did an acoustic set at the end of the catwalk. Just him and his guitars. He tested the crowd’s “Blake Shelton music knowledge” as he played a number of songs from his early days. The crowd sang along…so we passed.

Later in the show, Dia Frampton took the stage to sing a duet that will appear on her upcoming album. I have to be honest. I wasn’t a fan. I don’t watch The Voice, so going into this, I had no idea who she was. It was my least favorite part of the show, even more so than having to wait in epically long lines for beer. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure she has a beautiful voice and is immensely talented. But she seemed and sounded very nervous and it made me glad that we had missed the opening act completely.

The set list as a whole was awesome, all the songs we hoped he’d play…all except for God Gave Me You.

The show ended, and the crowed cheered. Of course we weren’t going to let him off the hook quite yet. Blake kindly obliged us with an encore that even Justin Moore came out for. Our patience was handsomely rewarded as he closed out with God Gave Me You.

:::::sigh::::: I couldn’t have asked for a better show. We sat in the cheap seats, and still had a decent view that didn’t at all detract from our enjoyment. If you ever have the chance to see Justin Moore or Blake Shelton, I highly recommend that you jump on it.

I give this Saint Patty’s day show a two thumbs up to the sky. (Yes, my thumbs may be small, but powerful, they are.)

Rockin’ it ‘Til the Wheels Fall Off…

Or should I say, Rockin’ it Even After the Wheel Fell Off? Yes, that would be a more apt title for what I’m going to share with you fine people today.

Last weekend, my friends and I attended Monster Jam in San Diego. It’s been many years since I last attended a monster truck rally, so I was pretty excited. The show was sold out, and since I do not make a living writing this lovely blog, we were in the cheap seats at the top of the stadium…no mind, these trucks did not disappoint, regardless of your vantage point. Besides, me and my friends are more of the “Lets put on overalls, Billy-Bob teeth and mullet wigs” kind of crowd anyway.

Now, the highlight of the evening was by far the “Freestyle” portion of the show. For those of you who have never had the pleasure of experiencing this thunderous exhibition of giant tires, rolling, jumping and racing, the “freestyle” event is where each driver has 90 seconds to rack up as many points as possible. These points are accumulated via said jumping, rolling and any other tricks that the drivers can come up with. When this 90 seconds is completed, the driver then has an additional 30 seconds as a “bonus round”. This results in two scores, one for regulation and a second as a bonus. He or she with most points, obviously wins.

Amidst all this super charged chaos, I walked away with some distinct and surprisingly profound lessons. Now, to illustrate what I’m talking about, please take a peek at this video of Grave Digger free styling it up. You will notice that at one point, while doing “donuts” one of his rear wheels comes off completely. Now, most drivers would have called it quits. They would have chalked it up to a loss and been done with it. But not Grave Digger. No. He literally rocked it until his wheel fell off….and then some. As a matter of fact, he got more air, better stunts than any of the other trucks on 25% less rubber.

My friends and I were completely blown away at the performance. We decided that never again will we miss a Monster Jam, it was way too much fun. The shouting, the cheering, the good old fashioned kind of fun I remember from my childhood…it was epic.

I’m sure you’re asking yourself how in the world this experience left me with some sort of profound lesson. Well, I’ll tell you. I saw his performance as a textbook example of persistence and tenacity. He took pride in his work, and he wasn’t about to let something like a missing tire stop him from giving his fans the show they come to expect. To find some sort of meaning in something as loud and rough as a monster truck rally, it’s got to involve some serious stretching of the imagination.

Call it silly, but I’m doing my best to see things in the best light possible. I have resolved to be that adventurer in search of treasure I spoke about in God is great, beer is good…People are crazy. I will see opportunity in every experience. There is too much beauty in this world to let it fall on blind eyes.

Thank you Grave Digger.

God is great, beer is good…People are crazy.

I’d like to begin by thanking Mr. Billy Currington for writing a little ditty called People are Crazy.

Why? I’m so happy that you asked. First of all, the fact is that God is great. He has created so many beautiful things for us to enjoy. The next fact is that Beer is good. It is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Third, and most pertinent for me today (since it’s not beer-thirty…yet) is, PEOPLE ARE CRAZY. So I am thanking Mr. Currington for writing a song that holds so much truth.

We are all a bit crazy. Some of us are the fun, “woo-whoo” let’s go streaking though the quad kind of crazy. These people like to have a good time, start a little trouble maybe, but they don’t hurt anyone…not maliciously anyway. Others are the kind of crazy that just breed hate and discontent. They are miserable people, and you know what momma says about misery: it loves company. My goal is to identify and figure out what to do with those hateful people who continue to sap my energy, steal time and stress me out. Luckily, I’ve got half the equation taken care of. I’ve definitely identified who these people are in my life. I just wish I knew I knew the best way to get rid of them.

I’d like to spend a little time describing these people I’ve identified. Odds are, many of you have similar people in your lives. Maybe you know who I’m talking about (figuratively speaking, in your own lives, of course.), but just haven’t thought about ways to rid your life of the stress and drama they bring. Maybe, it never occurred to you before reading this that these little monsters existed in your life. Regardless, if we identify these people and work towards separating ourselves from their drama and the stress they create, we are that much closer to taking control of our own happiness and mental health.

The first person, (we’ll call this one, Mind Ninja) can turn any situation around to make himself the victim. It doesn’t matter what he’s done, when you tangle with Mind Ninja, you will walk away from the situation with the blame, and you won’t even know what hit you. In the past, I’ve reflected on this on and found myself wishing I had that same ability to weasel my way out of things. But I’ve been thinking about it more and I’ve changed my mind. I could not live happily, knowing that I am a manipulative liar that takes no responsibility for hurting others. Sure, it’d save me from some hot water from time to time, but I’m no stranger to a butt-chewing. I’d take one if it means that someone else isn’t held responsible for something I’ve done. I’m a caring and kind person, capable of remorse and using those two words: I’m sorry. I also don’t mind correcting my mistakes. Being willfully responsible for someone else’s emotional pain is not something I’m equipped to do.

I believe in my heart, from my experiences, in Karma. I know that we all get exactly what we deserve, whether good or bad. I’m no one to think that I have the right or responsibility to punish those who choose to be “bad people”. As a matter of fact, it’s been my experience that when those who do wrong finally do get their “just deserts”, it’s often far worse than anything I could have possibly done. Don’t misunderstand this, if someone attacks me or my loved ones I’m not going to just stand by and take it. You’d better believe that I will unleash a furious anger of which you have never had the misfortune to experience. however, I’m not going to go out of my way to say or do something spiteful to someone just because they said or did something that hurt me. They are the ones that are going to have to live with their words and actions in the long run. You, on the other hand, you can move on knowing the truth about the kind of person you are.

The next crazy in my life, we’ll call her Me Me Me, is something truly special. This little peach likes to make every situation about her. It doesn’t matter what is going on, in her mind, it’s happening to her. A perpetual victim of the world, she directs anger towards anything or anyone that might detract from her “lime light”. I cannot begin to describe how profoundly I’ve been hurt by this particular person’s selfishness. I could go on and on for years describing how my family and I have suffered at the hands of Me Me Me. A sane person would have told her to shove it over a decade ago.

I’m in a quandary, because unfortunately, Me Me Me is also the evil dragon that sits outside of the tower where my little brother and sister live. She is the gatekeeper to all I have left of my father, aside from letters, photos and memories, of course. They are so young and far away, I can’t be a positive influence and make my presence known as much as I would like. However, I’ve continued, as my father’s last request of me, to keep the peace and do all I can to take care of Me Me Me (presumably so she has support while caring for my siblings.). But now that he’s gone, she is doing everything possible to cut me out of their lives. I’ve cried, and screamed and prayed. I don’t know how to handle this situation. I don’t know how to honor my father’s request, stay in my siblings’ lives and not let this woman stress me out.

For a long time, I’ve relied on one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite author’s to help me move on when I feel hurt by someone’s actions:

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.          ~Paulo Coehlo

It was a reminder that we all have our own issues to deal with on a daily basis. No one but God could possibly see all of it. So I go back to this idea when I feel like someone isn’t treating me the way I would like or need to be treated. Right now, this quote isn’t doing it for me. It’s not making me feel better. There is no excuse for the way these people behave.

Now that I’ve said that, there is also no excuse for allowing anybody to make me feel unhappy. The moment I’ve allowed someone to make me unhappy, I’ve given my power away. But today, the power is mine. I will not let these people affect my life anymore.

My new quote to live by, also from the same author as the last quote:

I can choose to be either a victim of the world, or an adventurer in search of treasure. It’s all a matter of how I choose to view my life.            ~Paulo Coehlo

Take Me Back

Remember a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I would eventually write a little something about Audio Time Travel? No, you probably don’t. But I did, and, well, here it is.

No, I’m not talking science fiction from a bad ’80s movie. I don’t even mean physical time travel. When I say Audio Time Travel, I’m referring to the mind’s response to an auditory stimulus. This stimulus could be a noise or music, natural or manmade. The mind’s response could be to trigger a physical reaction such as flinching and fleeing at the sound of a gun shot, or it could correlate the stimulus to a specific memory and transport that person, mentally, back to the moment it happened. The latter response, the ability for a sound to make it’s listener travel back in time, mentally of course, is what I’ll be talking about today.

We all know that our sense of smell is hugely powerful in stirring up memories. But what about our ears? Our ears have the ability to transport us to another time, without leaving the room. (If you don’t think this is an amazing feat, you should stop reading this post right now.) Case in point, my last post was a result of Audio Time Travel: I was listening to Tim McGraw sing Live Like You Were Dying, and it reminded me of a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine. I remembered feeling his sadness from my response to his question about what I would do with my last day on Earth. I remember that whole month surrounding the conversation as well, which made me recall the details surrounding my father’s death. This reminded me of the last song I listened to with my father and in turn, having realized I’d just gone back in time in my mind because of a song, dug up my memory of a conversation I had with that same friend about Audio Time Travel. At this point, it’s become a little convoluted, but the point is that this whole chain of events was triggered by my brain’s response to a single auditory stimulus: a song by Tim McGraw.

Have you ever found yourself in the car with a friend and a song comes on the radio that made you turn to your friend and say, “hey, remember that time…” or, “this song reminds me of that one time…” If you have, you know what I’m talking about. Now, maybe it didn’t happen in the car, but it happened somewhere, and music was involved. This example is kind of weak. Only reminding you of something that happened in your past is just a fraction of what your mind can do. It can really take you back and make you feel the emotion, and everything else as it was in that one memory. It can make you feel the chill in the air, the way something felt on your tongue or smell the fragrance in the air. For example, when I hear When the Levees Break by Led Zepplin, I’m sitting right next to my father’s bed. I see my little sister on the other side and my little brother at his feet. My dad had been bugging me for weeks to play that song for him every time we got in the car. I kept telling him that I didn’t have the song on my iPod. It was at this moment, at my father’s death-bed, that it occurred to me that I could find the song on YouTube. I remember feeling so stupid for never having thought of it before this moment. So I played it for him. I can feel his hand in mine, and the coarseness of his hair as I stroked it. I’m thinking the same thoughts in my head, wishing that I could hear him sing it, that he would open his eyes and I could ask him why was this song so important? Did this song hold the key to unlocking a memory for him? I can hear the sound of his labored breaths and the increasingly longer pauses between them, in the background, the oxygen machine. Shortly after the song had finished, he took his last breath. That was it. The song ended and so did his life, just like that. When the Levees Break will forever be my ticket back to that moment.

I believe that most people are aware this occurs in their own minds from time to time, but I don’t believe that most understand just how deeply their lives are affected by the noise around them, music in particular. There’s a reason that so many scientific studies are conducted on this subject, from fetal development to what kind of music facilitates learning. If you attend a symphony or an opera, you will notice the audience is mostly silent and very calm. In some instances, the audience might be so calm that some may be asleep. On the other end of the spectrum, go to a punk rock show, and you’ll more than likely find yourself swept up in the middle of a mosh pit, being pushed around by the frenzied audience. Time travel isn’t the only thing music can induce. It can completely alter your state of mind. Don’t believe me? Next time you’re stuck in gridlocked traffic, about to go postal, try listening to something a little more calming and soothing than The Offspring’s  Bad Habit.

I’d like to point out that I am no scientist. I’ve done no actual research into this topic. I’m just a quasi-college-educated girl. All I have are my experiences and my memories. While, it feels as though it’s been an eternity since I’ve seen my father, I know that he’s just one song away.

This post is dedicated to my father, an amazing man who overcame an abusive childhood and became a loving, caring, creative and hardworking father. This is also dedicated to his little brother, my uncle Peter, who passed away about a week ago. He wasn’t as fortunate in overcoming his past, but is still deeply loved and sorely missed.